i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
