If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
