So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
