Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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