I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
