If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
