There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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