It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize