this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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