And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
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Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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