I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and she was petting her beer can
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
