My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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