The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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