we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
