youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
