I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
