he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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