It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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