Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
