Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
