In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
