We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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