i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
