I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
