***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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