I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
