And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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