just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
