Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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