Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
