look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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