i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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