I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
