I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize