people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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