So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
