almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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