I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my shit smells like andre
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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