You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
