Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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