Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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