so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
