all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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