I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize