Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
