margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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