i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize