Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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