So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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