He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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