mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
