I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
