Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize