I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
