pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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