how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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