Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
