I wannas sexs uuuuu
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
