capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
