I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
