Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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